Loneliness
by mouseagent
Summary: Post movie. Edna has difficulty dealing with her feelings towards Helen, who seems to be adapting well to her new superhero life and family. Edna/Helen  The first of its kind, as far as I know.
1. Conversations with people

Helen Parr slid back in her sleek leather chair with a happy sigh, stretching her arms over her and resting her hands behind her head as she leaned back into its soft padding. Across from her, stirring a steaming cup of hot tea with the tip of her cigarette holder, sat the diminutive figure of Edna Mode, who stared down at her cup in deep thought. She stopped stirring and took a small, cautious sip from the edge of the cup and placed it gingerly on the coaster. She kept her eyes on it as she addressed the airily smiling woman across from her.

"That all sounds very exiting, darling. I'm glad the outfits worked out well. I suppose I'll be seeing more of you from now on, that make me very happy." She pursed her lips put her cigarette holder to her mouth in contemplation. "Jack-Jack will pose a problem, yes? I will work on a suitable design for his powers." Her eyes narrowed on Helen suddenly, causing the brunette to flinch slightly.

Helen leaned forward slowly. "E… are you okay? You're acting kinda…stressed out or something."

Edna jumped, her small hands nearly dropping her cigarette. She picked up her tea again and took a sip. And put it down again. She dropped her head down, her eyes on the floor. Suddenly she leapt to her feet.

"I'm just so very, very happy to be working again, darling!" She grinned widely, her large front teeth sticking out cartoonishly. "It's been years -years!- since I've been able to design anything of any use. Supermodels…bah!" She bit the tip of her cigarette holder and plopped herself back down on the edge of the large chair. Helen smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I think your work with the models was beautiful, E." She said softly with her southern drawl as she rubbed the back of her head, her arm stretching just a few inches past its normal length. The small woman snorted.

"It's all crap. Not worth anything. Not at all like designing for Superheroes." A devilish grin played across her lips. "Now that is a challenge worthy of my time." Helen blushed.

"Now, E. I don't think that…oh my god, is that the time?" She bolted out of her chair, "I-I have to go, I'm sorry E. Bob is taking us out tonight." She giggled. Edna remained motionless for a moment.

"That's lovely, dear." She hopped down from her chair and started to walk Helen to the door. "You will have to come by again. Soon."

"Oh, of course, Edna. I'd love to." She smiled sweetly as she the large door slid shut behind her with a clang. Edna stood silently for a long moment, hugging her arms to her chest protectively. She sighed and punched in the pin to reset the door's alarm in a mechanical pad on the wall. She noticed the light had dimmed. It had been later than she had anticipated. She walked down the hallways aimlessly, the grand structure towering over her small form, making her look even smaller. Making her feel smaller.

Edna took a puff on her cigarette as her feet pattered along.

"Well, that was nice," her expression remained blank as she spoke to the empty space around her, "She should come by more often. She really shouldn't wear that shirt though, it's terrible. Terrible. She should let me put together a wardrobe for her; she's much too pretty to be wearing that junk. Much too pretty…" As her voice trailed off, her walking slowed until she came to a complete stop. "A goddess. And so happy; always smiling nowadays; so excited. So much life. I wish…" Her face reddened darkly and she jumped slightly, as if she had startled herself, and clutched her head in frustration. "She's married! Married! With children! I thought I had settled this years ago!" Her fist collided against the wall with a splintering crack. She recoiled in pain and dropped to the ground heavily, leaning her back against the wall and breathing heavily. She felt her eyes going out of focus as her mind drifted. She noticed her still lit cigarette on the carpet, stretched her foot out, and crushed the life out of it. The woman then brought her legs up into her chest and rested her head on her knees in a fetal position. She sighed deeply.

"Hell. Here I am even talking to myself."

She snickered.


	2. Night and Day

Edna hated nighttime. With night came silence. Stillness. Emptiness. Loneliness. Well, more lonely that usual, at least.

She didn't bother turning on the light when she closed her bedroom door behind her, she knew the layout well enough. She designed it. Pale white moonlight shone softly through the large open window at the end of the room near her canopy bed. She watched the light for a long moment, breathing in the coolness of the night air, as the glowing light danced around the room. She rubbed her arms and held them tightly, but not because of the chill. Because of the night.

The small woman walked slowly over to the closet, which was cavernous and huge, like a gaping mouth lined with rows of hanged clothes instead of teeth. She changed into an evening robe, draping her dress carefully onto an unoccupied hanger before climbing into bed. She took off her glasses, the world slid into a blur of mystic shapes. She laid there, alone, for what seemed like hours, thinking. She thought about her projects. About what she should do about that one particularly annoying model that complains about everything she designs for her. But, mostly, she thought about Helen Parr. About her soft face and hands. The way she blushed when complimented. The way she pulled off wearing those horrible blouses that looked like pregnancy shirts. The fact that she was a happily married superhero mother of three. The fact that Edna would never, ever be able to tell her how she felt about her and how much she wanted her. How she had been in love with her since she first met her back when she designed her first Elastigirl costume. How empty her life felt. How tempting that bottle of sleeping pills in the back of the top shelf has been looking lately.

She fell asleep.

Three months went by slowly, crawling its way past like a crippled sloth. Helen had visited but a few times since the defeat of Syndrome, once for tea, and twice for minor mending to the costumes. Edna had savored these moments like no others, but couldn't help but feel bitter the moment they were over, when she remembered she could never truly have the woman she loved so dearly.

Then there came the phone call.

It was mid-afternoon, the sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows on the statues in the sunroom. Edna picked up the phone quickly and pressed it to her ear. The soft, yet distinctly accented voice rang out, tainted by static.

"Hello, Edna?" Helen asked.

Edna's heart jumped in her chest. Her face reddened.

"H-hello, dear. What can I do for you?"

"Oh, nothing. Nothing. It's just…well, I wanted someone to talk to. Bob's out of town on his job, and the kids went on school trips, so I'm kinda…alone here…and…"

Edna couldn't contain the demonically wide grin that spread across her face. "Well, daahling, you should have called sooner. Why don't you let me take you out somewhere?" In her mind, she knew this wasn't a good thing to do, but she couldn't help herself. She was never going to be able to tell Helen how she felt, but at the least she could live out some of her fantasies to a degree. This was all she had left.

"Oh, no, Edna…I couldn't—"

There was no way she was letting this opportunity pass. "Helen, I insist. I take you out to dinner, let's say…six o'clock tonight?"

"Well, I…"  
"Wonderful! I will pick you up."

"Edna!"  
"Ciao!"

She hung up right as the woman on the line let out and exasperated sigh. She didn't like playing dirty like this, but what else could she do? Anyway, it was adorable the way Helen got a flustered.

Edna sat in her armchair, her fingers pressed together in thought and excitement. She remained motionless for a long moment, grinning to herself before leaping up in her chair.

"Alright! Where to go? What to wear? All hell gonna break loose tonight, baby!" She punched the air, and skipped to her dressing room, cackling evilly down the hall.


	3. Red Candles

Six o'clock rolled around quickly and Helen sat anxiously on the couch in her small living room. She glanced at the clock on the wall nervously, completely unsure of the situation at hand. Why was Edna so enthusiastic all the time? So easily excited or, sometimes, so quiet and morose-looking Helen thought she had done something horrible to her. The way she stared at her sometimes, with such joy or sadness, sometimes Helen thought her costume designer had some sort of personality disorder. Perhaps she was bipolar.

The front door-bell rang out suddenly. Once. Twice. Helen made it to the door on the third ring, swinging it open to reveal the short, black-haired woman on the other side, just about to reach up to ring the bell a fourth time.

"I was coming!" Helen breathed heavily from the sudden rush to the door. Edna stared at her, and a coy little smile played around the corners of her mouth as she stared at how well Helen's supple body filled out the strap-sleeved, fitted red dress she wore.

"Beautiful…" She whispered under her breath.

"What?" Helen reached for her coat on the hanger by the doorway.

"I could make better dresses for you, dahling. You must let me try sometime," She glanced up at the red-head, catching her eye for a split second before quickly looking away, "But that will do. Come along, dear, that car is waiting."

The restaurant was sparsely filled, with small clusters of couples and friends huddled over their small, circular tables, talking quietly among themselves. The ambiance was warm, decorated with dark reds and lit by the flickering flame of candlelight. The waiter led the women to a secluded table in a distant corner, his pinky-fingers sticking up in an almost humorous attempt to appear "high-class". Edna scoffed at the display under her breath as he scurried off to fetch drinks. Helen cleared her throat nervously.

"Well, E. I, uh…thank you very much for inviting me here tonight."  
Edna just barely contained a squeal of delight. Her face was just too adorable! The waiter returned and set two glasses of wine down on the table and ran off again. Edna picked up her glass.

"Kampai. Cheers, Helen. To you."

The elastic woman sputtered for a moment as she raised her glass as well. Did she just blush? Mode couldn't really tell with the reddish light of the candles. They clicked their glasses together and drank.

"Hmmm…not a bad vintage." Edna savored the taste for a moment before returning the glass to the table.

"Do you come here often, E?" Helen set her glass back down as well.

"No. No, not in years. Never a point to; no one to go with." Somehow, she instantly regretted saying that. She didn't like for people to know of her weaknesses and…loneliness. She averted her eyes, but she could still feel the woman sitting across from her staring at her curiously.

"Edna?" Helen spoke slowly and softly, "Do-do you…are you…are you okay?"

Suddenly it became hard to speak and Edna could feel her pulse quicken rapidly. How could she have gone and ruined the moment so soon? She just felt so comfortable around Helen…

She swallowed and parted her lips to answer just as—

"Would you ladies like to order now?" The waiter fabricated a pen from an unseen place and placed against his little pad in one smooth gesture, anxious and waiting.

Edna glared at him for a moment before sighing and picking up the menu.

"Well, I'd like the soup and salad. Helen, order whatever you wish, I pay."

"Oh, I can't let you do that, E. I'll pay for half."  
"Shush, Helen, I insist. I invited you: my treat." Helen knew better than to try and argue, so she sighed in defeat and ordered a pasta dish. The waiter grinned and scurried away quickly and disappeared into the shadows. Edna fiddled with a fork, twirling it around in her fingers.

"So. How are things with the family lately, Helen? Got any 'jobs'?" She looked at the taller woman through her thick-rimmed glasses, trying to change the subject, "Need any more work done on the costumes?"

Helen flinched and leaned across the table, Edna tried desperately not to look at her soft breasts hanging down in her semi-deeply cut dress. "We don't talk about that stuff in public, Edna, I'm sorry," she whispered uneasily, "Too many risks." She sat back down.

The Japanese-German nodded knowingly. "Of course, how stupid of me," She smacked her forehead, but not in the "oh-I'm-such-an-idiot" way that Helen thought; she hit herself in a desperate attempt to keep herself from making up another excuse to make the woman in the red dress lean over towards her again. Helen frowned.

"E, you always ask me about me, but we never seem to talk about you!" Edna flinched, but tried to cover it up by suddenly adjusting her glasses, which only made the reaction more suspicious. She could feel a panic rise up in her gut; she was losing control of the situation, she couldn't have that! Helen gazed at her intently. Edna laughed nervously and took out a cigarette, lighting it, and placing it in its' holder. She put it in her mouth carefully before speaking:

"Well, you know dahling, I'm just so busy all the time. Don't really have much to say about…" Helen leaned forward in her chair, just a little bit.

"Do you get lonely? What you said before…It made me realize…you live up there all alone, don't you?"

This was it. This is what Edna had been trying to avoid. She responded hurriedly.

"Oh n-no, I don't get…I'm far, far too busy to get lonely!" She took a drag on her cigarette, staring off into a dark corner trying to avoid eye contact. Helen was looking at her, she could feel it. She risked a glance, but what she saw made her stop dead. Helen was looking at her, her eyes filled with sadness, a half smile on her lips. Pity. Edna clenched her fist and bit her lip.

"Don't look at me like that!" She turned away, "Maybe this was a bad idea; I shouldn't have pushed you to come…"

"E…" Helen started softly.

"I didn't come here to have pity party, Helen, I wanted to…" The small woman drifted off, realizing she shouldn't continue on that particular train of thought. Helen reached across the table and took Edna's hand, holding it, she squeezed it gently.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always call me, and I'll come. You're a very, very good friend to us, E. I care about you very much." Now Edna was thankful for the red glow; it hid her blush. She looked down.

_A good friend. _

"Helen, I—"

"Here you go, ladies, sorry for the wait," the waiter delicately placed the plates of food on the table, an obscene grin plastered across his face. "Enjoy!"

Is that a request or an order? Edna thought to herself. As he turned to leave, he caught sight of Helen's hand, still holding the black-haired woman's tightly. A strange expression passed over his face and he shot Edna an undecipherable look. She quickly realized what her was looking at and snatched her hand back, crossing her arms defensively. Helen was oblivious to the situation as she picked up her fork. The waiter cocked and eyebrow and, just as he was about to walk away, winked at Edna, smiling knowingly. She stared after him, confused. She turned back to face Helen, who was already starting on her pasta, oblivious to whatever it was that just occurred. The sight of her so excited over the food, E couldn't help but smile. It was adorable, the way Helen ate, twirling the noodle so that they hung just so on the fork, before slowly and carefully raising it and eating it gracefully. She licked the sauce from her lips. Edna swallowed, transfixed by the sight of Helen's mouth.

She wanted to kiss her. She wanted to so badly it started to make her chest hurt and her breathing strained. Helen looked up from her food and gave her a puzzled expression.

"Is the salad not good, E?" She asked innocently through a mouthful of food. Edna didn't bother even looking down at it, staring obliviously at the angelic sight of the red-haired woman eating. Helen looked around her, confused, "Is there something somewhere? Do I have something on my face? E, what's wrong?"

And the spell broke, E shuddered and shook her head, "No, no, no…nothing. I was in a daze," she picked up her spoon and started on her soup: butternut squash. It was hot and thick, with a sweetness accented by the sprigs of cilantro that garnished it. It was delicious.

"How is your food?" The smaller woman asked between spoonfuls.

"Oh, it's amazing! I've never tasted anything quite like it, the sauce is really good," she smiled that adorable little smile, "How 'bout yours, is it how you remembered it?"

"Oh. Yes. It hasn't changed much."

"…E?"

"Yes?"

"Who did you used to come here with?"

A pain burst out through her as Edna faltered. She scowled down into her soup. "An acquaintance, no one of importance." She mumbled sternly.

Helen cocked her head. "Oh, I'm sorry. It must have been something personal…I'm sorry for prying." She grinned nervously and innocently.

Edna grumbled to herself; she hadn't meant to make the situation uncomfortable. She sighed.

"A…woman. I used to come here with a woman I used to know in the design industry." She struggled to keep her voice from trembling. The red-head leaned forward in interest.

"In the design industry? Would it be someone I know? Someone famous, like in the magazines?" Edna leaned her elbows on the table, taking a deep breath, relaxing her mind, giving up.

"No. No, nothing like that. It was the coffee girl at the studio I was working. I used to bring her here." She stared down at the table in an absent-minded daze. She could feel Helen's gaze on her, soft but menacing.

"Oh, that's nice. Were you two good friends then?"

"…Yes. I suppose you could say that…"

A long silence. Edna sat motionless in her chair, fiddling idly with her fork. Helen stared at a little clump of sauce on the edge of her plate. The black-haired woman looked up slowly.

"Come on. I'll take you home."

"…Okay…"

Edna paid the waiter and the two women walked out into the nightly chill, a cool breeze blowing gently over them. Helen fidgeted with her coat.

"Thank you for tonight, E. It was really nice."  
"Don't mention it…where the hell is that key?" Edna was digging through her little bag desperately as they stood beside the car.

"…Edna?" Helen asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry."

Edna stopped; her breath caught, but she clenched her fist and swung around, just about to pretend to laugh it all off and say something clever about it being "that time of the month", but…

A kiss.

Helen pressed her lips against the small woman's gently, but firmly, half kneeling to the ground. Edna was frozen in shock, but only for a brief moment before she melted into the kiss, lifting up her hand to the elastic woman's soft, smooth face. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes as they embraced. The softness, the warmth. It was beautiful.

They broke off gasping for breath. Helen stood back up, her face blushed.

"…And that's as far as we can go, E. I'm sorry." She spoke warmly but firmly. Edna nodded.

"Me too…"

"I'd like to go out with you again sometime again," she smiled that angelic smile Edna loved so much. Edna forced a grin.

"Anytime's fine for me."

"Let's go home, E."

"Yes…Helen?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Thank you."

The night grew a little warmer.


	4. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

Well, this could be it: The End. I don't know, though. Should I continue and figure out some way to get them into a bed together, or should I respect the characters and original concepts and honour the Movie? I'm torn.

Or I could pull it off in a steamy dream sequence…

Suggestions?


End file.
